I have only one sister, but she can’t speak and can’t hear the wonderful voice of all things in the world. She is deaf and mute, four years older than me, but she is as smart and kind as ordinary people. Unfortunately, her sister’s fate has suffered from God’s unfairness in succession, she was bitten by a snake and then mentally disordered, and finally suffered from stomach cancer. At the age of 45, she finished her young and difficult life.. Originally, I wanted to see my poor dumb sister on the day I returned home, but the kids and girls in the family said that they would go to see her together in two days.. So I delayed not seeing my sister alive and awake, so I regret it! On the day before the New Year’s Day, the elder sister’s son came to the elder brother’s clinic to take medicine and told her that her condition had deteriorated and she had a large amount of blood in her stool.. I knew my sister had stomach cancer. Since her sister was bitten by a snake, her health has deteriorated. Our family immediately drove to see her, but when we saw her sister, her eyes were too swollen to open and her face was swollen to change shape. She kept humming and turning pale, completely without her sister’s original appearance.. The pain in my heart is hard to express, because my sister is deaf and mute and can’t hear the greetings and calls from our relatives to her.! Look at her painful appearance, but no one can share for her, everyone can only cry secretly. My sister was clever and virtuous from childhood, but she could not speak, elegant and dignified, but she could not hear the beautiful voice of all things.. Every time she smiles like a flower, it is a kind greeting to guests, relatives and friends. No stranger will find the disability hidden in her appearance after seeing her sister’s appearance.. In the winter when her sister was born, she had a high fever for several days. Her parents carried her to the county hospital dozens of kilometers away in order to save her young life.. After a large number of penicillin injections, although he saved his sister’s life, he left behind a lifelong disability and became a complete deaf mute.. The surviving sister had no other problems. She could speak some simple language before she was a few years old and could feel the sound of shooting.. As you get older, you can’t say the last word and can’t hear a sound at all.. Sister has the intelligence and constitution of ordinary people, and can do housework and mow the grass and remove the land. Can do what a woman can do with sewing, sewing her own clothes. Although the clothes she mends are thousands of scars, they are very strict.. My sister’s new clothes are always neatly stacked in the cabinet and reluctant to wear them. Sister often looks at her family’s face, and whenever she sees her family’s fierce and bad eyes, she will drop her things on the ground, especially on her grandfather at the gate of great noise.. Sister has a temper, but she is kind and industrious. More often than not, she can tolerate brothers beating and scolding her, and can wash the dirty clothes of the family and stack them on their bed heads. Remembering that her brothers didn’t understand anything at that time, they only bullied her, often pinching her white face with sharp nails because they didn’t like her dumb sample, and still have deep marks embedded in her face.. I see it in my eyes and pain in my heart, and sometimes I will bravely shout a few words from her brothers. My sister got the message that I gave her care, and she also loved her very much.. Every winter night, my sister put my frozen feet under her warm armpits, straightened my curled trouser legs, tightly tied my feet with a quilt, fearing that a cold wind would penetrate into the quilt and freeze me. Since the day of junior high school, my sister greeted me with the warmest hug and watched me go away silently in the courtyard.. In my heart, my sister’s care for me is better than that of every family member and even feels no less than a mother’s love. Because I rarely get this kind of painstaking care from my mother. However, she has bitterness but can only be buried in the bottom of her heart. She will not be able to express her joys and sorrows in words to her relatives in her life.. I used to resent the ignorance of my parents at that time, saying that a deaf daughter as beautiful as flowers and pure as jade was married to a man 20 years older than her sister and only separated from the mountains to be a concubines to inherit for others in order to better take care of her future.. As a result, the elder sister later became a bad karma woman who was half collapsed in bed and was not cared for before she was old.. Sister married a few years, because of the great woman’s careful guidance, life is safe and carefree. She has given birth to her son and daughter. The daughter was born soon and the big woman died because she went up to the mountain to chop firewood, and the family lost her backbone from now on.. Brother – in – law is old, frail, lazy and has no ambition. He doesn’t take care of his sister except for his children.. All the work outside the home fell on her sister, who often went to work in the mountains early in the morning with an empty stomach because she couldn’t hold on to a certain time, and didn’t go home until two or three o’clock in the afternoon to make a bowl of plain rice for herself.. I remember my mother and I went to visit my sister, but she was not at home every time. At that time, we found her working in the opposite mountain and watched her bring us hot steamed buns, which all ate up in a few seconds, hurting my sensitive heart which was originally scarred.. I don’t know if she has fainted several times from hunger in the wilderness and then got up to work, and has never been discovered.. My sister suffered such hardships. Heaven did not show mercy and imposed on her a more cruel physical and mental torture in the world.. The devil finally wrapped up his sister again. The poisonous snake sent by God set an ambush waiting for her sister to hook into the net while she was passing through the yard without a flashlight.. I can imagine that maybe it was my sister standing on a soft snake, feeling something wrong that made her panic and stamp her feet, angered the snake, and the snake relentlessly attacked her sister’s bare feet with teeth and teeth, and sprayed saliva that could kill people.. My sister’s screams when she was bitten by a snake attracted neighbors who wrapped her long hair tightly around her bare feet to prevent the venom from stringing up. However, they did not know that such a wrong first aid method was counterproductive, and that sister’s leg was extremely swollen that night.. A few days later, my mother and I went to see elder sister. She was lying in bed and told us about the terrible scene.. My sister always smiled at me and my mother, perhaps to thank me and my mother and smile at her for a long time. Because of the poor living conditions of her sister’s family, many families were sent by her parents. When they went that day, the brother-in-law said that they had broken down for a long time and had no money to replace the unlit lamp gun in their sister’s house.. Brother – in – law asked his sister to lie in the dark room and heal, unable to distinguish the day, eating and drinking without guarantee, thirsty, no one handing a glass of water, hungry, no one will know. The children were attending the school where I lived, and tuition fees were basically free. At that time, my family was in extremely poor condition, and the marital turmoil was widespread, so I couldn’t stay with my sister often.. I can only take time to buy some meat and noodles with my mother and send them to my sister. I will put the rest in the cupboard and leave them to her children..If they don’t make food for their sister in person, they know that once they leave her home, her sister won’t get a grain into her mouth.. After a few days, my sister was injured, but we never expected her to change and become unknown to everyone.. Sister returned to her family alone, the first miracle after her marriage. In the previous years, they all went to visit their family under the guidance of a big woman or brother – in – law.. Sister is no longer as sedate and elegant as before, she is out of her mind. She began to gobble up food and sleep without blinking her eyes.. When the son stretched out his tongue and bulging his eyes, he acted somewhat like a snake and was very frightening.. Sister’s unusual behavior became more and more serious, picking up those colored paper balls everywhere and putting them in her trouser pockets, beating her chest with her fist, hitting her head with a wooden stick, and circling around the edge of the ridge.. She has never pushed her head and wept bitterly somewhere before, and she has not known all her relatives for a long time, including her parents and I who used to mingle with Confucianism.. She no longer yearns for her family, even if she passes by the door and her parents run over to pull her, she desperately shakes off her parents’ hands and does not look back at her relatives.. Later, my sister always ran away, and my brother-in-law was afraid of her getting lost and locked her in the dark room all day long.. When I saw my sister pedaling along a certain road, she wept bitterly. Or I can understand what kind of wordless pain it is when I feel more difficult than scratching my feet in front of me and want to open my lips but still can’t say a word I want to say.. I want to appease my sister’s vicissitudes, I want to speak for her, and I want to listen to her heart. But at that moment, the only thing that can be done is to lift up her sister from the ground, comfort her with gestures and straighten her irregular hair.. As long as my mother and I meet to see elder sister, we will still insist on bringing some meat, noodles and the like, making her a delicious meal in person every time, changing sheets and bedding for her, washing her hair and cutting her hair.. The clothes full of lice were scalded with boiling water, and the clean clothes were coated with a thick layer of lice medicine. When changing clothes for my sister, the original white skin was full of blood stains, some of which were bitten by lice and others were bitten by snake venom.. Sister has lost her ability to take care of herself for many years. The days when we are not around her are the most helpless days when she suffers physical and mental torture.. However, I can’t have more conditions to help her because of the unfortunate marriage and poor financial situation. My heart is strong and I can’t help her.! I often think that if my sister heard a voice on that day, I would like to say to her that if there is an afterlife, I will be her little sister, and I hope she is no longer bad karma’s sister at that time.. How I wish my sister could hear her call and a consolation from the heart and answer my greeting, even a word is enough. But she can’t, we can’t do it. I only have the only picture I had with my sister and girl, which is also the only picture in my sister’s life.. Whenever I think about her, I will dig out this photo to see it! Many inspiring books repeat the principle that fate is fair, but I hate the unfairness of fate. I oppose this theory.. Why should God leave suffering to the world in the afterlife, and why not punish them for their fate in this life?? That will not bring more innocent people into trouble. All sinners in the past should be punished before the afterlife, so that they can enjoy the well-being of ordinary people in this life.! On that day, our family spent a few hours in front of the elder sister’s bed, and saw that the elder sister was really in pain. The mother standing at the head of the elder sister’s bed said to the elder sister in tears, ” My poor daughter, Qin, you are suffering in life, and living is also suffering. If you are suffering, you can go.”! All the young and old in the family have come to see you, even your sister, Xiang, has come to see you from so far away, you have no worries … ” Sister seems to hear her mother’s farewell words at this time, her head is sideways, humming even louder.. Maybe it is how loathe to give up her every family member in her heart, maybe it is the reaction that she can’t bear the pain at that time.. Brother – in – law’s home invited many people to make money paper for her sister. We watched her in the middle of the night and saw no sign of going because the next day was the 30th of the year, so we took turns to rush home to prepare for the New Year.. The next day, my parents and I didn’t have a rich seven bowls and eight dishes for the New Year’s Eve meal, but just boiled all the dishes in a pot.. Because of the abundance of New Year’s Eve meal, we can’t swallow it. After 4: 00 a.m. in the middle of the night, the elder sister’s son called to report his loss, saying that the elder sister would not be able to do it immediately. My mother came to my sleeping room and told me to go to see my sister. I got up and put on my clothes and was about to go out with my mother. My father suddenly said that he would not let me go. He was worried that if one of my daughter’s families went out after seeing her, he would be afraid every night and said that I would not go until the coffin was packed.. Because I was really timid in recent years, I listened to my father’s. So the mother went with her brother, who said that her sister’s long bent legs could not be straightened out, and she had to bear the pain of lifting them to press them straight when loading the coffin.. On the first morning of the Spring Festival, I went to my sister’s funeral with my sister-in-law sons and daughters, and a dozen younger generations, including my two sons, went to bow down and observe a moment of silence for her sister.! On the third day of the year, my sister was carried to her private plot near my hometown for burial! Sister is buried, she is relieved, she has also finished the debts of her past life and gone to heaven. Maybe she came down to repay her kindness like the legend, passing incense to her brother-in-law’s family, and completing the task sent by God.. I wonder if my sister is well in heaven? Today, it is the third time I have spoken with my sister in writing more than a year after she left the world. I have written about her before, which is an unfair comment on the hardships she suffered when she came into the world. It is not the same as this description.! When my sister was sick and couldn’t take care of herself and didn’t know me, I started a tragic life different from hers. I always wanted to help her out of pain and suffering, but my sister couldn’t help it.! I don’t know how to divide myself. I don’t have any spare money to redeem my sister’s 45 – year – old life to God.! I believe my sister was once happy and happy! But it was happy to be a mother and happy to have my little sister! However, in the past 20 years, the elder sister has suffered various physical and mental tortures that no ordinary person can imagine. It was the longest process of being swallowed up by the disease. First, she became deaf and dumb, then she was bitten by a snake to become mutilated and disused, and finally, she was paralyzed by nervous disorder and malnutrition. She lay helplessly on the old and broken wooden bed, watching the disease nibble at her body, sucking up all the sun-energy and bone marrow from her body, and she was no longer able to resist the huge invisible talons and body that pressed on her body, which was horrible.! Sister! My parents asked her to marry the wrong husband or fate had already been arranged. I doubt it.Doubt that love is only a kind of soul entanglements hidden in the depths, can no longer change fate and reality! On the day I thought I would have ambition, I had hoped for a better future, that is, to be able to save her life and improve her living environment, but before my sister could wait for that day, my dream was destroyed by reality. I lost my home, love, house and everything overnight.! Think of your sister, think of your unhappy life, and you will want to call her and talk to her.. Although she couldn’t hear anything while she was alive, I think she should feel the blessing and remembrance from her relatives in heaven.. Every time at this moment, I will burst into tears, and I call on my sister … Ah, I remember the last two years when my 4 – year – old sister was dying, sleeping in a cold bed in a dark room, remembering that no one left her a bowl of hot rice when she was hungry, remembering that her sister was thirsty and no one poured a glass of water for her, remembering that her daughter could not take care of her because her 20 – year – old son was working for her family’s livelihood while studying at school, remembering that her sister groaned while she could not move on the wooden bed, and remembering that her sister was hunched over when she was slightly better.. I don’t know if my sister in heaven heard my tears and sad cries! May my sister be in heaven and feel that when she lived in the world, all her relatives loved her so much, loved her so much, missed her so much, always missed her kindness, heartache for her misfortune, and lamented her life.!