Eight Commandments You Must Know When Educating Children
Moms and dads who have already been parents must have heard of many educational experiences, but the eight precepts we introduce below cannot be stepped on. Let ‘s compare them together.
Commandment 1: Education cannot be angered, and the more important thing is not to vent their restraint instead.
When children make us very angry, we must bear with it and don’t rush to get angry first, because no matter what we do, the first thought that comes up first is often problematic.
Sometimes the mistakes made by children may be nothing, but they are not what we want, or they hit the gun at the wrong time. Just like we often encounter this situation, we are exhausted from home and have to cook.But when they saw that the children were not doing homework, they also put toys on a pile of ground, and immediately the fire came up.
If you are going to “flatten” your child at this time, you might as well pull the curtains in the living room and look at the outside view. The weather is very bright, very beautiful, and calm yourself down.
Think of it this way, the anger is half gone, and then hold the child’s hand and tell him what should be done. As a result, the child packs the toy, and then starts to work again.
For parents, the so-called restraint, avoiding “first thoughts”, that is, educating children also requires us to have a better balance.
To treat children, we should probably change the two idioms we know well: righteousness, righteousness and strictness, and more time should be replaced with “righteousness, righteousness, gentleness”.
Strict discipline is also about strict principles and strict thinking. Be honest, gentle, and patient.
Commandment 2: You must not think about it. To educate and educate children must be persistent, and to educate children must not ignore the details.
You see, you are the one who walks with your child. You need to show your child how to go. The type cannot be three people walking side by side. When two people are walking, the adult or man should be outside.
Paul Clark, a well-known elementary school teacher in the United States, wrote a book “Excellent Is Cultivated.” Teacher Clark pays special attention to the detailed education of children. Some ca n’t speak with food while eating. If there are people behind when pushing the door,It is necessary to turn the door for him to look at people with kind eyes and so on. There are 55 in total, all of which are details of the child’s growth. In fact, these details are also the “big end” of life, because the details are behind the bigend.
If you do not have the responsibilities that you should always remember, and you do not live with your children, you may miss the critical period of growth, and later education will be difficult.
Commandment 3: You cannot educate your child in public. Even if they do the worst thing, you must educate him to take the child home. Scolding and beating in public are often very serious.
In a junior high school, there was an incident where the father slaps the child in front of the teacher and classmates, and the child immediately ran to the top of the building and jumped to commit suicide. This is a heart-breaking tragedy.There are many tragedies.
The most important thing in education is to respect the human dignity of the person, to protect the child’s heart, and to do this, there is no real education at all.
We must oppose that both praise and criticism of children are an emotional interaction. Parents who are too strong often lead to unproductive children, parents who are too rude, and children often have the same manic temperament.
Even in schools, special attention should be paid to avoid rigorous education of students in public. You can praise someone for doing it in public or even grandly.
But you have to be critical of a person, and you have to be cautious, you might as well use a private, quiet, gentle way.
A wise teacher does not need to have a severe responsibility for resigning from a student, and a wise parent can always inform and educate children that they cannot pursue immediate results.
Commandment 4: You ca n’t talk to your child and educate your child. The less you communicate with your child, the less you know how to communicate with your child. The less you know how to communicate with your child, the more you will definitely not understand your child.So, if you have a chance to talk to your child, what would you say to him?
As a parent, do you know the stress and suffering of your child?
Can you approach your child’s inner world?
Children are better before the third grade of elementary school. After 10 years old, they almost don’t know how to communicate.
Once there was any distress, about 35% of the children talked to classmates and friends, and less than 10% talked to parents and teachers. The image of parents gradually faded from their emotional world or even absent.
In this case, the conversation between parents and children is more likely to become preaching, criticism, and refusal. After the child is 13 years old, the child will not even give you the opportunity to criticize.
Commandment five: Try to avoid negative education. Our culture lacks sincere praise and encouragement for people, a tradition of experiencing happiness from a small thing, and a lack of awareness that “doing something that is meaningless makes life meaningful.”
We are used to “doing big things” and getting “great achievements”. Correspondingly, we like criticism, negation, and negative cues.
If you have n’t tried one thing, someone will remind you that you must not do it well. One thing is a little bit difficult. The immediate thought is to shrink back. If one thing is not in the parents ‘mind, it is likely to be ironic and ironic.
These situations are very serious in the family culture. As parents, changing oneself must start with the desire to restrain criticism, start from changing the habit of “backstory”, and change one’s “don’t believe, encourage, and expect.””” Begins.
It is not the child’s shortcomings, shortcomings, shortcomings, but when the child has the courage to try and change, to help him.
Commandment 6: Try to avoid education when children eat and sleep. Dining time should be a warm time for the family, and it should be a thankful moment when we can live healthy and beautifully in this world.
Eating is a kind of enjoyment, eating is a kind of communication, a beautiful exchange, a beautiful party.
Adults want to increase good parties and reduce boring entertainment.
A good party should first be in the family.
So don’t let your children tremble when they eat, and they will eventually lose their appetite for food.
I also saw some children who eat very fast. Why is it fast?
Just to make you too late to criticize him.He eats so fast, it’s not good for the stomach, it’s not good for food, let alone the etiquette of a table.
And when the child is going to sleep, education is not only ineffective, but also affects the child’s sleep.
When the child goes to sleep, his head is full of these critical messages, and he will have nightmares.
I also have a point of view, in fact, one person sleeps well. The next day, the way to look at the world is different. The next day when you open the window, wow, you will feel that the world is very beautiful.
If there are always evil dreams, if you don’t sleep well for three days, your eyes will be full of enemies.
So let the child sleep well, let the child eat well, even if he made a mistake, you must find a more reasonable and appropriate time, and then educate.
This is actually doing good deeds for children.
Commandment No. 7: Don’t simply compare your own children with others’ children. Each child has a huge difference. Every child has a secret we don’t know. Every child has a reason to be “this way.”
To educate your child, you better target his “this look”.
Mozart played a good violin at the age of five, and composed at the age of seven. That was Mozart.
Li Bai, we also know that he has the story of grinding the iron pestle into a needle, but his talent as the great poet is still the most important.
Commandment No. 8: Teach your children not to “severe crimes and punish them.” First, explain that you usually spend too little time with your children, too little concern, and have not fulfilled the minimum responsibility of parenting.
First of all, it also shows that you are more “revengeful” and like turning over old accounts.
Sometimes it’s not that your words are unreasonable, but that your way is wrong.
In the wrong way, education must be ineffective.
As parents, all power means responsibility, and this responsibility forces us to change.